"Ray"

Two days ago I met a young guy named Ray. He is from Indiana. And he is homeless. He came into my YMCA looking for a place to stay for the night; he thought the Y was a shelter. He walked 200 miles to get to Columbus. Yes, you read that right -200. He got a ride from several truckers, but walked most of the way. He has a friend who lives here, so that's why he came to Columbus. He walked with a limp now because of a lasting cramp that came upon him after such a rigorous trek. By the end of the day he told me that meeting me was a changing day for him. I think it was ME who was changed...

I spend the last hour of my shift online looking up shelters and people who could help him out, and then on the phone calling places and talking with various people. As I worked to help connect him with organizations that worked with the homeless and helped them find work and get back on their feet, I listened to him share his life story with me. It was fascinating. It was eye-opening, and it was humbling. He was such a good guy who just needed a break. He'd been through a lot in his life. I ended up connecting with a director at Faith Mission, and at the end of my shift I offered to drive him downtown and find the office. Before heading out, we ended up sitting in my car and talking for another 30 minutes about life, God, girls, and the future.

I ended up finding the office on S. 6th street downtown (which was an act of God since I always get lost downtown and end up turning the wrong way on a one-way) lol. I went in and talked to the directors, cuz I thought a YMCA employee vouching for him might get him more attention. It worked. Ray probably didn't know, but I was praying for God to work something out since the minute he walked up to the desk and said, "hi, my name is Ray, and I'm homeless and need some help." And God moved. And as I was in the building, I got to talk to many other people struggling with homelessness and poverty. It was an extremely impactful experience. Talking with them, sharing stories, united in our mutual humanity. It was special. And in that moment there was no me and them, no separation of social status or economic standing - there was HUMAN. And we were ONE. And it was beautiful.

I talked to Ray twice on the phone since that night, and he has reconnected with his friend and is doing alright. And he even got a job interview and had me listed as one of his contact references -because as he told me: "I don't know anyone, and I don't have any friends here or at home. I only have you, Nick." Wow. I am his only friend. And I've known him for only several hours. I was challenged to love more deeply that night; to truly love like Jesus. And I learned that as I loved Ray like Jesus would have, I not only ended up giving him food and shelter, but hope, laughter (which he said he hadn't smiled in days. another "wow" moment), and friendship. I still think it was ME who truly gained from that night, and who was truly changed...

"Late in the midnight hour..."

Last night, at midnight, God moved. He moved in my life, and I needed it. I had been battling spiritual attack (and failing epically), emotional attack, and I'm pretty sure physical attack was imminent. lol. But seriously, it's been a rough couple of days. I'd given up and given in in a lot of ways. I could feel God reaching out His hand, but I refused to take hold of it. I've learned a lot of things lately:

1. I'm more stubborn, prideful, and selfish that I had thought. Talk about a humbling realization.
2. As Casting Crowns put it, it really is a "slow fade". No one crumbles in a day. I felt like I was slowly sinking, and no one was noticing. Death and destruction is a choice; as is life and freedom. "Choose today who you will serve."
3. My emotions can get the better of me. Sometimes I overanalyze. Ha, okay, that's probably the UNDERSTATEMENT of the century. I always overanalyze. And I've learned that sometimes things are not as big as they seem. Somethings aren't always what they seem.

There's a song that I first heard at the Urbana Student Missions Conference in 2006 (oh, Urbana. Love you). We sang it on December 31st as we counted down to the new year. The chorus went like this: "Late in the midnight hour, God's gonna turn it around. He's gonna work in your favor." I've heard so many stories of how God woke people up in the middle of the night and spoke to them and it was a powerful, changing moment. And it finally happened to me. Last night, late in the midnight hour, God woke me up. Actually, He woke me up SEVERAL times. I'd come to the end of the road that night before I went to bed. I was feeling far from God, alone, and empty. Each time God woke me up, I could feel Him in the room. I could hear Him saying, "He I am. I'm still here. Come to me. You must take the first step." After refuting that I actually was woken up by the Holy Spirit multiple times and heard that message in my spirit, I finally was woken up one more time around 3:00AM. And I looked at my phone and saw that I had a voicemail. It was from my best friend Ty. I had been emotionally raw lately, and I had some hurt feelings because of Ty that weren't fully warranted. And I really needed my best friend. I really needed my brother to be there for me. And he was. We hadn't talked in days, and that voicemail was the first time I'd heard from him. For some reason, that voicemail was the culmination of everything God had been doing that night, and when I heard his voice and him saying how much he cared for me, was grateful for me, and was so glad that I am his friend and brother who would always be there in the hard times -I just broke. In that moment I surrendered to God. And I could literally feel a weight lift. A peace, a joy, and a renewed sense of life came over me. It was beautiful.

I'm trading this ashes for beauty. Darkness for light. Hallelujah. Late in the midnight hour...